Those Advice shared by A Father That Rescued Us during my time as a Brand-New Parent

"I believe I was merely just surviving for twelve months."

Former reality TV personality Ryan Libbey anticipated to manage the demands of becoming a dad.

Yet the actual experience soon turned out to be "utterly different" to what he'd imagined.

Life-threatening health problems around the birth caused his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was thrust into acting as her chief support in addition to taking care of their baby boy Leo.

"I was doing each nighttime feed, each diaper… every walk. The duty of both parents," Ryan explained.

Following nearly a year he reached burnout. It was a conversation with his parent, on a bench in the park, that led him to understand he needed help.

The direct phrases "You're not in a healthy space. You must get assistance. What can I do to help you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, look for assistance and find a way back.

His experience is not uncommon, but infrequently talked about. While the public is now more comfortable discussing the stress on mothers and about PND, far less attention is paid about the struggles new fathers encounter.

'It's not weak to ask for help

Ryan thinks his struggles are symptomatic of a larger inability to talk amongst men, who continue to internalise damaging ideas of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the harbour wall that just takes the pounding and remains standing with each wave."

"It isn't a sign of failure to request help. I failed to do that soon enough," he clarifies.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to admit they're struggling.

They can think they are "not justified to be seeking help" - especially in front of a mother and child - but she stresses their mental health is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's chat with his dad offered him the opportunity to take a pause - taking a short trip abroad, outside of the home environment, to gain perspective.

He came to see he needed to make a shift to focus on his and his partner's emotions in addition to the practical tasks of caring for a newborn.

When he shared with Louise, he realised he'd missed "what she needed" -holding her hand and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That insight has changed how Ryan perceives being a dad.

He's now writing Leo regular notes about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he matures.

Ryan believes these will help his son to better grasp the expression of emotion and make sense of his decisions as a father.

The idea of "self-parenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since having his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen did not have reliable male guidance. Despite having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, long-standing emotional pain caused his father found it hard to cope and was "in and out" of his life, making difficult their bond.

Stephen says bottling up feelings led him to make "poor choices" when younger to change how he was feeling, turning in alcohol and substances as escapism from the anguish.

"You find your way to things that are harmful," he says. "They can briefly alter how you are feeling, but they will eventually exacerbate the problem."

Advice for Managing as a First-Time Parent

• Open up to someone - if you're feeling under pressure, speak to a family member, your spouse or a professional about your state of mind. Doing so may to reduce the stress and make you feel less alone.
• Remember your hobbies - keep doing the pursuits that made you feel like you before having a baby. This might be exercising, seeing friends or gaming.
• Pay attention to the physical stuff - a good diet, staying active and where possible, getting some sleep, all are important in how your emotional health is coping.
• Connect with other parents in the same boat - listening to their experiences, the difficult parts, and also the positive moments, can help to normalise how you're experiencing things.
• Remember that asking for help is not failure - taking care of yourself is the optimal method you can support your loved ones.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen naturally struggled to accept the loss, having been out of touch with him for years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's determined not to "continue the chain" with his own son and instead provide the security and emotional guidance he did not receive.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they do "releasing the emotion" together - managing the feelings constructively.

Each of Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men because they confronted their issues, changed how they talk, and figured out how to regulate themselves for their children.

"I'm better… sitting with things and managing things," explains Stephen.

"I wrote that in a message to Leo the other week," Ryan shares. "I wrote, on occasion I believe my purpose is to guide and direct you what to do, but in reality, it's a dialogue. I am understanding as much as you are on this path."